I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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