Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
