Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
