when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
