I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
