Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
