just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
