She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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