I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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