As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
wow bdsm is so cute
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
