Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
