bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize