I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
