your room smells of hookers.
And success
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
