found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
