Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
