Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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