I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
