do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
