Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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