My boss' voice literally gives me gas
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
