no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
