Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
