Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize