I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
