he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
