dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize