We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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