She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
