using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you told grandpa to call you daddy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
