I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
