If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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