she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
