okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
