Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
you made out with another girl for some wings
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
