Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
