After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He felt like a one man threesome
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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