Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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