he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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