somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Randomize
