Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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