All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
