I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
this boner is exhausting
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
