At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
