There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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