i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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