its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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