4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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