bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
MIDGETS
????
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
