ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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