she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize