Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
