you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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