Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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