that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize