You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm too high and old for this...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
