All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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