Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my poor anus
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
