How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
