come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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