guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
